How the American Social Justice Warrior Princess Changed the Windsors

Things have no doubt changed for the Windsors. Sadly for many of the members, it’s all very PC, and hunting has been given the shunt, as well as other little traditional regal institutions of the crown like blatant jocular racism.

Our emissaries ensconced deep in the firm tell us wondrous stories of how the changes have somewhat irked the established members.

“If one wants to shout at the television after a particular news report resplendent with savages running amuck and that sort of thing, one has to be careful. The PC Princess as we call her has ears as sensitive as Prince Philip’s bowel movements,” a source revealed.

Hunting is now out of the question when Meghan is around, and that goes for the Blood Rite, as well.

“It’s not only the hunting that has gone, but consider this fact, pretty much every object or statue around the palaces are from Britain’s illustrious history of conquest and imperial superiority. Wherever Meghan goes, she now asks where this piece or that piece was stolen from, and how many indigenous people died for the relinquishment of said objects. On a visit to the Tower of London, Meghan was so angered at the sight of the diamonds on the regent’s crown she declared that they should be sold off to feed the slum children of India.

“One must also feel a deep pity for Prince Harry, here is a lad who is used to dipping one’s wick into an assortment of different pots served up to him on a platter, a man of varied taste. Needless to say, now that Meghan is preggers the fun is over, and Harry has been left with his wick in the wind, doomed to only one flavour for the rest of the marriage.”

Certainly things have changed amongst the Windsors, as social meetings are now more subdued.

The Duke of Edinburgh has effectively been silenced completely, and is not permitted a single word now. Instead he sits silently in the corner mumbling to himself. If he does dare to utter a word or even a sentence, he is immediately re-silenced with some hor d’oeuvres served up by his personal butler and another dose of opiates.

There have been some rumours about some shenanigans between the two duchesses, Meghan and Kate.

“One of them is honed, well trained in royal protocol and docile, the other is a wild unknown import who is used to saying and getting what she wants and is obviously stifled by royal protocol and British sensibilities. It’s like placing a peasant sugar cane farmer from Papua New Guinea amongst aristocrats, the culture shock is too great. Not that nothing can be achieved, it just will need a lot of time and training,” another aide revealed.