Large Swathes of South London Are Happy Today After Taking Tainted Nurofen Plus

LONDON - England - People were roaming around South London today with big smiles on their faces, reports coming from Lewisham confirm.

Usually you would be hard pressed to get a smile out of the people living in the dark and dingy toilet that is parts of South London, but reports are coming through the BBC and Sky news, that groups of people are roaming the streets smiling and looking happy.

“The only reason this could be is that these people ingested Nurofen Plus pills tainted with anti-psychotic drugs. That’s the only way these people could be smiling. If you lived here, you’d be suicidal, so there’s no need to smile,” a confused looking councillor, Richard Ames, told the BBC.

Large shipments of Nurofen Plus were contaminated with an anti-psychotic drug and accidentally delivered to South London.

The government has warned anyone who sees these pills to not take them and immediately bin them.

Health Minister, Douglas Ratfuck, said: “We can’t have people happy in ‘Sarf Landan’. You must be jokin’ mate, do you want them to riot?”

Erroll Beano, 43, a road sweeper from Lewisham said: “All I know is I was feeling really unhappy and miserable as usual and I took some Nurofen Plus. I’m really happy now. I don’t see grey miserable buildings and no hope anymore. I love everything in my life. I want to live and be a positive person. What a wonderful world we live in. I…I…I’m…so-o-o-o happy.”

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