Peasants Told to Celebrate Royal Wedding

“I’s be honoured to stand along the route of the royal carriage and wave me flag for the newlyweds at the royal wedding,” Ivor Munter, 32, a peasant from Muckleworth, East London, told the BBC.

According to the palace, the peasants won’t just be celebrating in the streets, but some have also been invited to attend the wedding itself, Meghan Markle and her family are so lucky.

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“Meghan even invited her hairdresser, butcher and road sweeper from her hometown, as well as members of her family. It’s going to be a grand affair and a right royal knees up, innit” Jack Mungo, a postman from Barking told the Sun.

All over Britain, there will be street parties laid out for the starving peasants.

“I ain’t eaten for a fortnight. I’ll be glad to get a bit o’ bread and soup when the wedding happens in a few weeks. Our feudal lords are so good to us,” Harry Pilchard, a peasant from the village of Shister in Yorkshire, told the BBC.

Some peasants will even be given a commemorative plate with the royal couple adorning it, shame most won’t have much food to put on the plate.