House of Lords: Rats in the Sewer

Pest controllers have been called out to the House of Lords after an outbreak of filthy fucking rats turned the former respectable establishment into a sewer.

Led by chief filthy sewer rat, Lord Adonis, the rats ran amuck across the House of Lords spreading treachery and other un-democratic anti-voter sentiment.

“These treacherous rats must be cleaned out. They are stinking out the whole establishment with their authoritarian socialist pseudo-Marxist sewage, and selling out their own country to our enemies,” one of the only upstanding Lords left, Lord Lamont remarked.

The filthy rats that are creating such an outright mess escaped from a sewer pipe on Monday, and have been running across all the seats in the House demanding £300 each to sit down.

“The filthy fucking rat, Lord Adonis, who looks nothing like Adonis, is a real nuisance. I caught him a few times with the broom but he scuttles around the floor so fast one can’t catch the little bastard,” a House of Lords pest controller revealed.