Pilgrims Flock to See Clegg Tears

“I have travelled all the way from Wales to come and see Nick Clegg’s tears rolling down his cheeks. I even brought a bucket with me,” Jocelyn Bingleswaith, from Pontrhydfendigaid told the BBC.

All three followers of the deputy prime minister were waiting outside Downing Street yesterday to see if they could catch a glimpse of their icon, and even catch a tear from his eye.

“I made this pilgrimage today. I feel like one of the characters from Chaucer’s tales. I want to see Cleggy weeping, he could be the next Madonna for all you know,” Robert Schitt, a pilgrim from Hamburg, Germany said.

Downing Street police were putting more officers on patrol today in anticipation of three more Nick Clegg pilgrims turning up tomorrow.

The Catholic church is also going to send a delegation from the Vatican to find out if Nick Clegg should be transported to the Holy See, where he could be put in a glass cabinet and viewed on a daily basis by millions of tourists and pilgrims.