The Gospel According to Satoshi

SOMEWHERE - USA -  In the beginning, there was a man named Satoshi Nakamoto. He wrote a white paper outlining his vision for a peer-to-peer digital currency free of government interference.

Ten years later there is a new $800 billion cryptocurrency industry, thousands of newly minted millionaires and a massive decentralised computer spread across the globe. And, there is no Satoshi Nakamoto. The man has disappeared.

No one even knows if he ever existed. In all likelihood, Satoshi Nakamoto is a pseudonym used by an individual or a group of individuals. Or a supernatural being.

The only thing we can be sure of is that Bitcoin is here to save the world. Fiat money is designed by the government to steal our wealth by inflating the money supply. Bitcoin was designed by the benevolent Satoshi to make us all rich.

Some people say Bitcoin is in a bubble. That’s impossible. The supply of Bitcoin is limited which means it can’t be a bubble. And anyway, Bitcoin investors are a fearless bunch and don’t care about bubbles and other nonsense. If anything’s in a bubble, it’s fiat currencies.

Speaking of bubbles, there’s a bubble in the number of people saying Bitcoin is a bubble. And in the number of people missing out on Bitcoin. Most of the critics are jealous because they missed out. But not to worry, if you’ve missed out on making the easy Bitcoin profits, you can win some playing Bitcoin jackpots or on one of the Bitcoin gambling sites.

The naysayers have also pointed out that bitcoin and cryptocurrencies aren’t really being used for anything other than speculation. They say that if it was really the future, Amazon would be accepting payments in Bitcoin. That might be true, but you have to remember that Jeff Bezos is now the richest man in the world – when measured in US Dollars. So, if Bitcoin became more popular than the dollar, Bezos would lose his number one spot. It’s just not in his interest to support Bitcoin.

And yes, we all know that Microsoft has now stopped accepting payments in Bitcoin. They said it’s because the price is too volatile. But we all know it’s really because they can’t figure out what to do with all the Bitcoin they already have in their Bitcoin wallet. It would be quite embarrassing if they had to explain to shareholders that they made more profit on their Bitcoins than they did selling software.

And then there’s the old valuation story. How do you value an instrument that doesn’t pay interest or dividends, and that doesn’t own tangible assets? The answer quite simply is that Bitcoin isn’t a stock or a bond or a conventional currency. It’s a crypto asset which means things like earnings and cash flows don’t apply. So, what is a crypto asset worth? It’s simple really – crypto assets are worth more than the price they are trading at. Always!

It’s quite clear to anyone who’s paying attention that Bitcoin is worth a lot more than the current price. And if anyone disagrees tell them to go speak to Satoshi Nakamoto.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    24 hours ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    2 days ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.