Cabinet Reshuffle Latest: Theresa May Relegates Self to Backbenches

LONDON - England - Former PM, Theresa May has spectacularly reshuffled herself back to the backbenches during a chaotic Cabinet reshuffle session that has frankly teetered on incompetence. 

“Initially I refused my own reshuffle. I stood up to myself and proclaimed showing any sort of weakness would be weak,” Mrs May revealed.

Mrs. May, who has trouble reshuffling cards let alone a whole Cabinet of ministers, is so incompetent and weak that her reshuffle may result in a general election where communist Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn is elected.

“When I was reshuffling the Cabinet I kept shouting ‘snap’ for some reason. Then I got a crazy idea into my head about shuffling in minorities into the mix, and I accidentally used my white female privilege to shuffle myself out of the Cabinet and into the backbenches. I understand I am an indecisive, hysterical woman flapping her hands in the wind, but Brexit, Brexit, Brexit…or something like that!”

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    DEFENCELESS BRITAIN – The Practical British Prepper: A Three-Month Household Plan

    LONDON - England - Britain is defenceless and bankrupt. It is not too late if…

    15 hours ago

    Why Labour is Destroying British Pubs

    LONDON - England - Labour is destroying British pubs. Across the British Isles, thousands of…

    3 days ago

    King Charles Agrees to Meghan Markle Statue at Buckingham Palace

    LONDON - England - King Charles III has agreed to a Meghan Markle statue to…

    6 days ago

    Dangerous Criminal Disappointed by Early Release Thanks to Labour

    WORMWOOD SCRUBS - England - A dangerous criminal is seriously disappointed with his early release…

    6 days ago

    Comrade Burn’em Residing at His Manchester Dacha For Holiday

    MANCHESTER - England - Comrade Burn'em has retired to his dacha up north after two…

    6 days ago

    Digital Science Launches Papers AI: an AI-Native Researcher Workspace for Writing, Data and Code

    LONDON - England - Digital Science launches Papers AI which gives researchers and students an…

    7 days ago

    This website uses cookies.