Carving Up the Turkey This Christmas Will Be Fun

When Christmas comes, turkey won’t be the only bird you’ll see carved up but the weak blanched torso of Theresa May replete with designer shoes and the massive dark bags under her startled dead eyes.

The weak, ineffectual, incompetent corpse of Theresa May is still barely walking the hallowed halls of the House of Commons and Number 10, but for how long? Can the country take any more incompetence, disregard for Brexit, and utter complacency to the serious issues of the country.

The blundering mess of May, especially when dealing with the Priti Patel affair proves to many how weak May’s position is, and how the crumbling edifice of her prime-ministership is sinking into the mire daily.

Gone before Christmas, these are the whispers heard in the dark halls of Westminster and in the drinking holes. May’s biggest mistake was appointing Hammond as Chancellor of the Exchequer and the myriad of waffling statements she has made about her vision of a watered down Brexit which would actually not be a Brexit if she had it her way.

As the knives go in to carve up the Christmas turkey of Theresa May, there will be squeals of delight and anticipation by the dinner table as everyone asks ‘what happens next?’.

One can only hope that a competent former Mayor of London, keen cyclist and latin orator takes the helm of the ship and lets it set sail to the true promised land. Aut Caesar aut nihil.