MP: “Women Should Never Have Been Allowed in Parliament”

Galveston Hensley, MP for Berkshire West, has caused outrage amongst some by his words today.

“With all this flim flam hysteria, this naming and shaming, this emasculating caterwauling nonsense, I posit that women should have never been allowed into parliament in the first place. I rue that day in 1918 when those big bags of flustering oestrogen were first allowed to cackle in the hallowed halls of Westminster. Since then it has all sadly gone down hill. Men can make decisions decisively, we revel in our staunch code of ethics and honour. None of that of course can be said about the meddling politically correct aberrations these women bring to the place. One cannot simply pat them on the bottom and tell them to trot along now, or order them to get you a coffee. It is our biological nature as men to delegate, to make war, to sign treaties and to stand on the parapet of ultimate power as masters of our own domain, and not to pander to these fastidious harridans. Women’s domain is that of nurturing the family, of cooking and ironing, having babies, looking after your little blighters, and warming the bed at night. Anything else is sacrilegious to the natural biological way as has been proven recently.”

Mr Hensley who gave the speech in the House of Commons today was mobbed by 23 female MPs who pulled his trousers down and slapped him about in front of a small crowd.

When Order Meant Order

“To see this gentleman of the house so furiously put upon meddled with my gastric juices somewhat. This chap was literally turfed out of the place sans trousers, and what for? Yes, exactly, for saying what is on most male MPs’ mind,” an Honourable Gentleman, who wished to remain anonymous out of fear, revealed after the altercation.

The madness continues of course, and every day brings up even more surprises as men are once again put through the grinder, shamed, and deposited out the other end worse for wear.