Trigger Warning Snowflake Student Dies After Reading Shakespeare

Matt Clewes, 24, was supposed to be studying for a degree in English Literature, of which Shakespeare is a major component, when he came across the book before a specific lecture on the subject which caused his death.

English literature undergraduates were apparently cautioned beforehand that a lecture focusing on Titus Andronicus and The Comedy of Errors would include “discussions of sexual violence” and “sexual assault”.

Because of the ‘snowflake’ generation, the trigger warnings were posted in the English Faculty’s ‘Notes on Lectures’ document which is circulated to students at the university, but somehow bypassed Mr. Clewes.

More ‘trigger warning’

One of his friends at the campus was angry that Clewes had not been warned about the Shakespeare piece more prominently before his untimely death.

“We live in a constant state of shock and terror. Like what if I suddenly read or see something that upsets me, but it happens every day now. He should have been warned. Why were there no trigger warnings on the manuscript? Yesterday, I was watching the TV when an episode of Martin Scorcese’s Casino came on. I was not warned and nearly died from the shock of watching the film. No warnings mean we could have heart attacks from the shock. This is serious people. Are you not as scared as us? How could you do this to us?”

Many triggered students are now calling for the banning or censorship of major parts of all Shakespeare plays.

Last week, a Cambridge undergraduate student studying Ancient History was hospitalised after he read about Gaius Caligula by Suetonius. He is still in a coma and may never wake up.

As for the Daily Squib, reading it has been banned by Cambridge University as a major ‘trigger hazzard’ code red warning.