Why Do Hurricanes Have Such Nice, Pleasant Names?

“Sure, we have hurricane Irma, Jose, Harvey. These are all pleasant unassuming names that do not indicate the great threat they have on human life. Why not have a hurricane called Ugly B*stard, or Nasty Sue, or F*cking B*tch Sarah? At least if we named these hurricanes with how we actually felt about them, maybe we could save more lives,” Carlos Fuentez, Chief of the Florida Hurricane Research Center, told CNN.

The FHRC team took their new name suggestion to the streets of Miami to ask what people thought about nasty hurricane names.

“I think you should call this Irma hurricane Puta Irma. I had to close all my shops and lose a lot of business because of this f*cking wh*re hurricane,” Jose Gonzalez, a local businessman told the team.

One angry lady who was boarded up in her home said emphatically: “Just call Irma a c*nt. That’s the easiest and most succinct way of describing that bitch!”

Well, it’s not very kid friendly but there are other suggestions too, call hurricanes after politicians that are universally despised by one faction or another.

“You could call the hurricane Donald, or Hillary or how about Barack?” another angry gentleman said whilst pointing up into the clouds with an accusing finger.

The politician naming hurricanes idea was however quashed after it was realised that it would simply add to the egos of the named politicians.

“They would get even more power crazy. Obama already committed more crime and damage to the country, imagine if they named a hurricane after him. He would be walking around with his chest puffed out and swaggering around like he was a god or something. Forget that idea,” Mr Fuentez said.