World

Exit Polls: May Day, May Day, Where’s Boris to Save the Day?

LONDON - England - If the exit polls are to be believed, the Theresa May gamble of calling an early election has fallen back in her face as a giant Conservative flop, considering the mass of young brainwashed Labour supporters bribed by freebies.

Theresa May’s pathetic insipid electoral performance amongst the strutting apes of Corbyn and Lib Dem Tim Farron was so low key that it resembled a simpering mouse slinking behind a sofa.

The Tory manifesto certainly contributed to Theresa’s downfall, as did her timid u-turns, and her tawdry responses to questions. The absence of Brexit on her agenda belied her non-committal to the exercise, as she was a Remainer from start to finish.

We need someone with some fucking balls to take the reigns, and someone who lit up the screens on his entry, and that person is a true Brexiteer, unlike the PM and her Chancellor of the Exchequer. This is a time of war, terror and a dangerous surge in communism.

Enter BoJo, Boris the Johnson, the Brexiteer Musketeer, who is the only one who can skewer these pseudo-Marxist liars and their offers of bribes to young impressionable naive voters.

If the exit polls are correct May must resign immediately or be pushed out with a hard fist, and Boris Johnson must come in to take the reigns and subsequent Brexit negotiations away from the permanently scared, simpering Theresa May.

Bring on the Boris, this is the only solution to a very tawdry situation the Conservatives now find themselves in. Theresa May is not fit for purpose and needs to be shipped off to the glue factory as soon as possible.