Gordon Brown Laughing While UK Struggles With £5 Trillion Debt

FIFE - Scotland - Safe in his bolthole far away from any repercussions, former prime minister, Gordon Brown, is hailing his success in destroying the UK's economy irreparably.

"The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money to spend."

Speaking to the Glasgow Herald, Gordon Brown has been hailing his success in destroying the English economy completely after thirteen years of punishment.

“Not only did I sell off England’s gold reserves at the bottom of the market, I left them with £5 Trillion worth of public debt that they will never be able to pay off. Just the interest payments alone will destroy the English taxpayers. Remember that those fuckers pay Scotland a load of cash too. It’s a beautiful justice because I hate them, and I know they hated me, so this is even Stevens as they say,” traitor to the British people, Mr Brown said.

The Office for National Statistics (ONS) released a study revealing that the public purse after Labour’s disastrous rule will be faced with £4.84 trillion of liabilities, compared with the current public sector net debt figure of £903bn.

“What Labour have done with our country is a disaster beyond belief. Your children’s children’s children will be paying for Labour’s horrific mistakes for generations to come. There is no end in sight, and all the while these traitors to the British people are out there laughing at their achievements. It makes me truly sick to the pit of my stomach,” Roger Hegel, a Lib Dem MP told the BBC.

“I’m afraid there’s no money left,” the outgoing Chief Secretary to the Treasury, Liam Byrne, jokingly put in a memo for the incoming treasury secretary to see. He was right, of course, Labour had created the biggest black hole in public finances ever seen, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.