Duchess of York Sells Daughter to Saudi Sheikh

There was no toe-sucking involved, no hushed brown envelopes being passed around, this was all quite above board and perfectly legal — in Saudi Arabia.

Speaking from the Hyatt in Jeddah, the Duchess of York announced the sale of her daughter to the world’s press: “I have managed to secure my future for another three or four months. I sold the good looking
one, princess Eugenie, to the Saudi prince for a good price. He did try to haggle with me at first but I had none of that. I had previously tried to sell off my other daughter, the ugly bug-eyed horse-toothed one, but he only had eyes for Eugenie. She’s quite the looker.”

“How much for your daughter?”

There was some speculation on the price of the transaction, but the Duchess was tight-lipped about the exact sum.

The Saudi prince who bought princess Eugenie has vowed to treat her better than his other concubines and will even allow her out of her cage twice a day.

Prince Abdul bin Abdullah Mohammed Sheikh is said to be worth over $2 billion and was keen to get new Western slaves for his harem.

“He was bored with the Russian and Eastern European girls, he wants more Anglo girls. Before any sale he has to test the teeth, and it is safe to say the Windsor teeth of princess Eugenie pleased him very much. She is a real thoroughbred. Also re-sale value does not go down too much after use so he is very pleased with his new acquisition,” the prince’s attache told reporters.