Brown Gets Counselling After Being Tormented by Rochdale Woman in Sleep

“Every night he sees the face of the pensioner bearing down on him. She smiles into his face and leers revealing her rotting teeth. Behind her, the PM says he sees men from Sky news goaded on by Rupert Murdoch. He is then pursued by this woman as she comes closer and closer finally so that all he sees is the huge bulbous mole on her face. The PM usually wakes up screaming and in a cold sweat, his wife Sarah has told me and Downing Street psychiatrists,” the Business secretary, Lord Mandelson told state broadcasting station, the BBC.

A team of psychiatrists and counsellors, who are already part of the medical team at Downing Street, are now working round the clock to try to reassure the sweat soaked PM that there is no ‘nasty bigoted’ witch after him.

“It is an uphill struggle. Every day and night we come against new challenges with Gordon. How high a dose of Bonkazapam should we give him? Should we use the straight jacket to control his fits of rage? We are at our wits end here, please, someone help us,” doctor Wilson Patrick, told Labour controlled newspaper, the Mirror, yesterday.

Let us all hope that Mr Brown gets a good nights sleep soon.