Obama Spotted Hiding in Woods From Goldman Sachs Creditors

“We funded that boy and he took our goddamn money, now we wants it back after he screwed us with the Senate committee investigations and he’s running like a rat. We want what’s owed to us, that’s all,” Eli Cohen, one of the Goldman Sachs employees who is trying to recover the money from Barack Obama told ABC news.

According to financial experts, because Obama reneged on looking the other way with ‘special treatment’ for the Goldman fat cats to commit massive mortgage fraud that nearly caused the destruction of the world’s financial markets, the Goldman hierarchy are now demanding their money back.

Goldman investment bank head, Goldberg Gold Goldman Sachs, has called for the scalp of the fugitive Obama, who is running scared somewhere in the wilds of North Carolina.

“We know he’s out there and we’re going to send the sniffer dogs and deputies out there to catch that lying shagetz chazer. He was supposed to let us do what we wanted when we paid out the hush money during his election but he took us for a ride and then tipped off the Senate committee. Nobody fucks with the Goldman boys. If you do, we don’t care if you’re the president of the United States or the Queen of England, we’ll find you and get you for every gelt you owe us including the vig and the fuckin’ interest. Let this be a warning to all the other bitches,” Mr Goldman Sachs told the New York Tribune.