Obama Spotted Hiding in Woods From Goldman Sachs Creditors

NORTH CAROLINA - USA - President Barack Obama, who received $950,000 of campaign funding from the disgraced Goldman Sachs bank was spotted in a forest trying to escape creditors asking for their money back.

“We funded that boy and he took our goddamn money, now we wants it back after he screwed us with the Senate committee investigations and he’s running like a rat. We want what’s owed to us, that’s all,” Eli Cohen, one of the Goldman Sachs employees who is trying to recover the money from Barack Obama told ABC news.

According to financial experts, because Obama reneged on looking the other way with ‘special treatment’ for the Goldman fat cats to commit massive mortgage fraud that nearly caused the destruction of the world’s financial markets, the Goldman hierarchy are now demanding their money back.

Goldman investment bank head, Goldberg Gold Goldman Sachs, has called for the scalp of the fugitive Obama, who is running scared somewhere in the wilds of North Carolina.

“We know he’s out there and we’re going to send the sniffer dogs and deputies out there to catch that lying shagetz chazer. He was supposed to let us do what we wanted when we paid out the hush money during his election but he took us for a ride and then tipped off the Senate committee. Nobody fucks with the Goldman boys. If you do, we don’t care if you’re the president of the United States or the Queen of England, we’ll find you and get you for every gelt you owe us including the vig and the fuckin’ interest. Let this be a warning to all the other bitches,” Mr Goldman Sachs told the New York Tribune.

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee.
  • First they came for the Satirists
  • And I did not speak out
  • Then they came for the...
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Homeless Fergie Found Under Waterloo Bridge

    LONDON - England - Yes, you guessed correctly. It's under Waterloo Bridge for the former…

    23 hours ago

    Prince Andrew: “Why is it just the Brits in the Epstein files?”

    DUBAI - UAE - Prince Andrew decries why the Epstein files mainly focus on the…

    1 day ago

    Why I had to dump the “Jonah” Commissar Reeves from the China begging trip

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer explains why he dumped "Jonah" Commissar Reeves from the…

    3 days ago

    Comrade Starmer Visiting Communist Comrades in China

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer is on a visit to the communist country as…

    5 days ago

    Open Borders Socialist Spain Fast Tracks Half a Million Illegal Migrants Coming to UK

    MADRID - Spain - The far-leftist socialist government has fast-tracked citizenship for over half a…

    5 days ago

    Socialist Tory Party Disgusted as Conservative Defects to Brigand Bandit Group

    LONDON - England - Comrade Badenoch of the Socialist Tory Party is very angry that…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.