London Underground: “What We’re Doing On Our Tube Strike”

We asked some of the staff what they’re doing on their day off.

Jim, 35, is a train driver, and is paid £56,000 per year not including bonuses. His day off may make some of you commuters stuck in a bus, or under someone’s smelly armpit a bit angry.

“On my day off striking, I got up at midday, switched on the telly and saw the crowds of commuters packed into buses and waiting on the streets. It gave me a good tingling feeling down my spine as I giggled like a hyena at the sight. It was time for brekkie, so I went down the caff for a full English and about a dozen cuppas. Looking at my watch, it was time for a liquid lunch, so me and the boys went to our regular, and the drinks were on me. Staggering back home drunk out of my twat, time for supper. The missus has done up a nice roast and we tuck into that. After our meal, wifey says she’s so proud of me having a strike so she does the Monday strike special right under the table, licking her lips, under the table cloth she goes. After that bit of dessert, I remember there’s a good flick on at our local cinema. Take the wifey there, and once the film ends, it’s down to the curry house for a slap up meal. All in all a great day, and I didn’t think about the misery of the London commuters once. It’s great having a socialist London mayor again, innit.”