Revealed: Brown and Darling’s Clever Plan to Pay Off Interest of £1 Billion a Week National Debt

“We’re going to make arts and crafts and sell them at car boot sales. You know things like paper weights and beads. Darling and I will be working in tandem to raise the cash so we can pay back the £1 Billion a week interest payments after we took out those huge loans that bankrupted Britain,” Mr. Brown told the BBC yesterday.

The economy shrank by a further 0.2% in the third quarter and has fallen by
6.03% since early 2008.

Britain remains the only G20 nation still in a recession and there does not seem to be any hope in sight, that is, until Gordon Brown hatched the dastardly plan to pay off the debt he has created for Britain.

“If we sell enough paper weights and decorated book covers by New Year’s eve we could raise as much as £50. I’ve also got this great idea to make lampshades from ten pound notes, because as you already know the Sterling is pretty much useless now thanks to Labour’s wonderful policies. I think then, and only then will I be ready to call a general election,” Mr Brown added before getting back to gluing some glitter onto a piece of chewed up drift wood.

The unelected Labour prime minister is hoping that the people will vote for Labour in the coming election and he is showing everyone that he is really making an effort to be finally elected.