Taliban Party Wins Afghan Election

The Afghan people have voted and embraced the democracy brought over from the West once and for all.

Speaking from an opium manufacturing plant deep in the Southern part of the country, a Taliban commander was ecstatic at the polls results: “The Americans and British have been great for votes. They just turn up in places, we shoot them up or blow them to smithereens, then the people vote for us. It’s bloomin’ marvellous it is.”

One Western official said: “We are so glad the Afghan people have demonstrated they can vote for the leaders they want to rule them. Granted there was not much choice, it was either having your hands chopped off or voting for the Taliban but this is democracy and we respect that fully.”

Thousands of Taliban party supporters in southern Afghanistan, where they have the greatest
tribal support, have already blocked the streets with massive celebratory parties (without any music) after the astounding election result.

The White House said it was “an incredible moment in Afghan history” for Afghanistan to get a
legitimate government. “This Taliban party win has proved that democracy can work in a backwards tribal country,” said Robert Cribs, Mr Obama’s press
secretary.