Gordon Brown Attended Bournemouth Fireworks Display

Around 175,000 people turned up to see 110,000 fireworks set off in under 60 seconds from a barge in the sea last night.

That’s until Gordon Brown turned up to look at the fireworks with his wife and cursed the whole world record attempt.

“As soon as Gordon turned up we knew the world record attempt was doomed and everything would be jinxed. He even pointed at the barge before they lit the match to set the fireworks off. Instead of rockets shooting into the skies lasting 60 seconds, there was an almighty explosion and everything went up in a puff of smoke lasting less than six seconds. Soon enough there was a massive fire on the barge and people had to abandon ship,” Johnson Splitz, 32, from Bournemouth said.

Whispers then went around the crowds that the ailing PM had turned up to watch the ill-fated fireworks display, that’s when the jeering and booing started.

The record attempt was set up to launch the town’s second annual air festival and raise money for Help for Heroes. Because the PM turned up, the organisers were only able to raise £1.87 for the charity.

However, there was good news for England’s cricket team today when Gordon Brown was nowhere to be seen which resulted in them winning back the Ashes from the Aussies.