Nu-Labour Nu-Tories to Merge

A new partnership has been formed of late, the facade of playful difference has melted away once and for all, and out of the dust that is settling after the make-believe skirmishes; a true new age of change has finally arrived.

“It has always been a big show. What we deem as democracy is exactly that, a big show to sate the appetites of the masses. There is only one party that rules but we have to make believe that the people have a say otherwise there would be revolution and rioting in the streets all the time. I’m sure if one was to read a little Plato one would understand the mechanics of technique,” Shadow Chancellor George Osborne told the Financial Times.

The announcement of the merging of the Tory and Labour party did not come as much of a shock to many.

“It has been a long time coming. The Tories are actually more Socialist than Labour is at the moment. Sometimes I feel it is a competition between the two on who can have the most left wing policies,” said a Westminster political pundit on Tuesday.

Now all we need is another non-election where more unelected people can rule over us and dictate everything we do in minute detail every f*cking second of the day through loudspeakers placed everywhere.