Daily Squib Offices Bugged By Rupert Murdoch

There was shock and dismay today in the Daily Squib offices worldwide when staff were told that all of their phone calls and internet traffic had been bugged by Rupert Murdoch’s cronies.

“We have found that all phones for our writing staff were bugged and hacked. This discovery raises serious questions on how that reptile Murdoch has been nicking our ideas and top notch reporting for so long. Even though Rupert the lizard has been bugging the Squib, his News Corporation are still producing generic, banal rubbish that is sub-standard to say the least. Goes to show that they still can’t get it right even with the best material,” the Squib’s chief editor, Paul Herring said.

The British newspaper arm of Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp denied on
Friday allegations its journalists had hacked into the Daily Squib phones and internet accounts.

Rupert Murdoch, who was interviewed on the Fox Network yesterday had this to say about the allegations: “Weee hav-v-v-e notttt bugged or hacked into anyyy Daily S-s-s-s-s-s-quib telephonessssss. Hmmm, is that a bluebottle fly? Ohhhh yes-s-s-s-s-s-s, come to daddy. Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!” at that moment, Murdoch’s lizard tongue shoots out and devours the bluebottle fly, which was moments ago feasting on a giant steaming dog turd in the Fox News car parks and had sealed its fate by flying into the studios.