Labour Stasi Officers Fine Man £50 for Dropping £10

Hardened criminal, and potential terrorist, John Smith, 36, was leaving a charity shop after buying a £3 T-shirt when he dropped the offending note along with a price tag.

When two Stasi officers approached him outside the Capability Scotland store in Ayr and pointed out he had dropped the money, Mr Smith was initially grateful.

He was then stunned when they slapped him with a fine.

He said: ‘One of them pointed to the money and ticket. I said ‘Oh, thanks very much’ and picked them up.

‘But then they said they wanted a word and told me they were fining me £50 for littering under the prevention of terrorism act 2009. I was gobsmacked.’

‘I used a £20 note and was given £17 change. I put the coins in my front pocket and went to put the note and ticket in my back pocket but I obviously dropped it.

‘I hadn’t realised until I heard someone say, ‘Halt, there prole criminal!’ Then I turned round and there were two Stasi officers grinning like Cheshire cats.’

Unemployed Mr Smith, who was forced to give up work because of his illness, receives just £98 a fortnight in benefits.

But now he must pay the fine within 14 days or face further action.

Mr Smith, who is single, has said he cannot afford the fine and has instead contacted a lawyer.

It is known Stasi officials within the sector are operating a zero-tolerance approach to criminal deviant anti-state acts in the local area.

A Strathclyde Stasi spokeswoman said: ‘An individual was seen throwing papers in the street.

‘We have orders from Stasi Head Office in Whitehall to prosecute real criminals. We are determined to clean up this sector and this individual was caught committing a heinous crime which was duly punished to the full extent of Labour Stasi Directive C14337 – B.

‘Citizens can now sleep safe in their beds knowing this criminal mastermind was caught and punished for his degenerate capitalistic terrorist acts.’