Tories Relief After Brown Stays

There was relief within much of the Tory party today after unelected PM, Gordon Brown was allowed to stay as Labour leader by his cowardly cabinet members and backbenchers.

“It is in our interests that he is allowed to stay as Labour leader and destroy the party even further. After he’s had his way I don’t think Labour will be elected for another 15 or 20 years. There’s an old saying, ‘Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth’. Well, we ain’t complaining with Gordo that’s for sure. He was the best thing that ever happened for our party and because of his yellow cowardly party members who don’t have a backbone between them — he has guaranteed an election loss for Labour and a win for us,” Alan Bates, Conservative MP for the South Suffolk constituency of Trumpington, told the Guardian newspaper.

Looks like the yellow streak of cowardice runs deep in the Labour party, where no one apart from one minister had the guts to tell the ‘loser in chief’ that HE was the problem.

“Denial is not just a river in Egypt. Brown is so deluded that even though 90% of the country are dying for him to go he will hold onto his post purely for his ego and power crazy ideals of greed and waste. He is a bane and burden on this country and wishes to punish the people for denying him respect that he thinks is due to him. But how can you respect a power crazed control freak like him who releases stories of his daughters death on the eve before the country went to the European and district polls? He sold the story of his daughters death to garner sympathy which is a truly despicable way of trying to gain support in an election. It was a last ditch attempt by a man who who has no qualms about selling his own family so that he can stay in political power. In short, he is the sole reason the Labour party will be in the wilderness for the next 10 – 30 years minimum. The Tories should thank Gordon,” a Labour backbencher disclosed to the BBC today.