Obama Seen Walking on Surface of White House Pond

White House aides already had their suspicions about Barack Obama, but now their suspicions have been confirmed. Could Barack Hussein Obama actually be the second coming of the Messiah?

“I was pruning the White House roses just outside the East Wing when I saw Barack talking on his Blackberry. He looked totally engrossed in what he was doing and just kept on walking towards the pond. Well, I thought I need to warn the president and was about to shout at him to look out when he just walked across the surface like it was stone or a sidewalk. He just went across this pond which is pretty deep and about 25 feet across. After that I just carried on pruning the roses and did not say anything apart from a few hail Mary’s,” Alonso Manuel, 58, one of the White House gardeners reported to Fox News.

There were also other witnesses to the miraculous incident including a secret service agent who was on the roof of the White House at the time. With respect to the nature of his job, he wished to stay anonymous so we will refer to him as Agent X: “I saw Barack walking across the pond when I was on the roof of the White House. He didn’t seem to even make ripples on the water. This is proof right there that President Obama is the next Messiah. I got to admit, I never believed in the Bible until I saw the miracle happen right in front of my eyes. It was as if a shaft of light came down from the heavens and told me in a deep booming voice ‘DO YOU BELIEVE IN ME NOW?’ Hell yeah, I just started giggling like a little girl and got down on my knees to praise the lord Obama. I reads me the Bible every day now.”

“I cannot in my memory remember a time when a president of the
United States has had more influence. Hail Obama, Hail Obama!” said Democratic strategist Stu Pidd, who worked in the Clinton White House.

A spokesman for the White House would neither confirm nor deny the recent reports.