Jeb Bush: In Retrospect

FLORIDA - USA - News filters through slowly, and much like the turtle that slowly ambles its way across a beach, so is Jeb Bush limping his way across a Walmart car park pushing his trolley full of bags, an old rucksack, some empty bottles and a flea bitten pooch which he rescued from under the interstate bridge.

It is sad to see such a sight, a man who had $180 million put on him during the presidential campaign, and now a homeless bum, addicted to crack cocaine, glue and M&Ms.

“They threw me out. My mom, she said I was a loser, even my bro turned his back on me, as for pa, well he’s too old now to even know who I am. But no one does anyway, and here I am. Wife kicked me out after she saw me with the pipe, she said I gotta get my bags and leave. Kids don’t wanna know either. Went to the Rotary Club, they threw me out the door again. Oh yeah, but I gotta plan. I’m going to get back and be president one day, you’ll see (snorting a bag of something) you’ll all see, when I’m up there. Trump will see me and he’ll be wishing it was him up there.”

The shelter at night can get rowdy, but Jeb sits in the corner remembering the spirit he showed during the 2016 election campaign. Sometimes a single tear rolls down his cheek as he hits out a fist at an imaginary person.

“I’m a winner! You lose Trump. I’m the winner here!” and then it’s lights out. Tomorrow will be just another day picking up bottles for recycling cash.

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