How Did Kim Kardashian Infiltrate EU Negotiations?

BRUSSELS - Belgium - Serious security questions are being asked as to how celebrity Kim Kardashian infiltrated a high level EU meeting where British PM, David Cameron was acting like he wanted something done about EU migrant benefits.

“Nein, nein, nein!” Merkel was theatrically telling David Cameron when an almighty ripper erupted ponging the place up.

Mr. Cameron saw this as another excuse to leave the EU negotiation table early as his weak charade is wearing thin anyway and he needed to catch the last plane to London.

Security at the European Council in Brussels has since been stepped up.

“It’s quite easy, we play classical music through speakers, any Kardashian within miles is immediately repelled,” François Garmond, security chief for the EC building told reporters.

UPDATE: The PM has since returned to the UK, without any deal or hope of ever getting a deal from the EU. Not an unexpected result then.

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