Impartial BBC to Fly Israeli Flag on News Broadcasts

Speaking from Tel Aviv, the BBC Director General, Yerachmiel Thompsonbaum, spoke of his disgust at being asked to broadcast a message of humanitarian aid for the dying thousands in Gaza after the Israeli bombing: “There has been a suggestion that we should broadcast a ‘humanitarian’ appeal for the thousands of people who are ‘dying in Gaza’.  There is no one dying in Gaza, there is no proof of this fact. In fact, we feel that everything is rosy in Gaza and there is no need to help people who are doing fine. British TV licence payers can rest assured that we, at the BBC, are dedicated to impartial reporting.”

The BBC has previously run appeals after wars in Africa and in the former Yugoslavia but has now drawn the line with Gaza’s Palestinians.

Instead, starting from tomorrow, there will be a BBC tribute to all the brave Israeli tank crews, bomber pilots, artillery and soldiers who reduced the Gaza ghetto into a pile of rubble and misery.

“I think the BBC is right not to broadcast the appeal. The BBC should remain impartial. I would be disappointed if the BBC changed its mind,” Feivel Goldberg from Golders Green, North London wrote on the BBC’s website.

BBC news directors have also been ordered to change the news logo so as to accentuate the BBC’s dedication to impartiality.

“The BBC news logo will be changed from Monday. It will incorporate the design of the Israeli flag and our news broadcasts will also start with the playing of the Israeli national anthem. Thank you for paying our huge salaries with your TV Licence so you can have an impartial news broadcaster,” a BBC announcer told audiences last night.

Don’t forget folks, Jonathan Ross is back again with his £6 million BBC salary after his little paid vacation. Keep paying the TV Licence, it is well worth it.