Shakespeare’s Romeo Was a Creep According to Feminists

Speaking at the #killallmen symposium for feminists held this week, the feminist revealed that Shakespeare should be banned because it shows women in a submissive and subservient light.

“All Shakespeare plays are sexist misogynistic hate-speech and should be banned. We are especially campaigning for the removal of Romeo and Juliet because it portrays so-called love between a man and woman. Romeo is a total patriarchal stalker creep because he did not give Juliet a chance to think about her true feminist lesbian sexuality and in the end drugged her with poison to kill her when Romeo’s hateful stalking did not work out. At least that’s how we think it went. But we’re making our words heard about this hateful play and want it banned immediately.”

ROMEO

She speaks:
O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o’er my head
As is a winged messenger of heaven
Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him
When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds
And sails upon the bosom of the air.

JULIET

O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I’ll no longer be a Capulet.