Tony Blair Volunteers to Take In 580 Refugees

KENSINGTON - England - Former prime minister, Tony Blair has volunteered to take over five hundred refugees from war torn Iraq and Syria his press office announced today.

 

“I started this mess so I spoke to Cherie and we agreed to take in a substantial number of refugees. We own £45 million worth of property so we should put it to good use I suppose. I just don’t want these people to stain our Persian carpets or touch the wine cellar,” Tony Blair told the Independent.

Imagine going downstairs for breakfast and seeing Tony in his slippers slipping into the Chinese maid. It’s the stuff of nightmares, haven’t these refugees seen enough horrors?

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    24 hours ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    2 days ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.