Chinese Officials Reveal Flatulence Ignited Massive Explosion

TIANJIN - China - The massive blast this week was caused by a fart that ignited a load of chemicals the Chinese Xinhua news agency has finally revealed.

 

Chinese officials traced the source of the explosion to a warehouse worker who had just eaten from a can of imported baked beans.

CCTV images from the area were analysed and show the worker stealing a can of beans from a shipment container, then tucking in. The Chinese are not used to the British delicacy and the man is seen rolling on the ground rubbing his belly after consuming the delightful feast, then bending over and letting one rip.

An audio capture of the Chinese baked bean fart was recorded before the raw methane gas caused a chain reaction with other explosive chemicals in the warehouse.

 

“It was a big fart and a stinker. It blew the top off a barrel containing deadly chemicals destined for Chinese food processing factories, and then Bo-o-o-o-o-m!” one official revealed on condition of anonymity.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    4 hours ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    16 hours ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    24 hours ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    4 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    5 days ago

    This website uses cookies.