Chinese Officials Reveal Flatulence Ignited Massive Explosion

TIANJIN - China - The massive blast this week was caused by a fart that ignited a load of chemicals the Chinese Xinhua news agency has finally revealed.

 

Chinese officials traced the source of the explosion to a warehouse worker who had just eaten from a can of imported baked beans.

CCTV images from the area were analysed and show the worker stealing a can of beans from a shipment container, then tucking in. The Chinese are not used to the British delicacy and the man is seen rolling on the ground rubbing his belly after consuming the delightful feast, then bending over and letting one rip.

An audio capture of the Chinese baked bean fart was recorded before the raw methane gas caused a chain reaction with other explosive chemicals in the warehouse.

 

“It was a big fart and a stinker. It blew the top off a barrel containing deadly chemicals destined for Chinese food processing factories, and then Bo-o-o-o-o-m!” one official revealed on condition of anonymity.

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