Donald Trump Transitioning to Be Woman

“I couldn’t have said those bad things against women because I’m actually a woman myself. I’m in the later stages of transition,” Donald Trump told his followers today.

“Do you think I don’t know what it’s like to bleed? Every month I stick a rag up there, you know, my nose and I have a big ol’ bleed session. Women need to understand, I’m a bleeder like they are,” Trump told Megyn Kelly from the women’s rest room during a campaign interview later to be aired on Fox.

Reporter Alvarez Gomez, for the Hispanic News Network, asked the presidential hopeful whether he has had the full ‘chop’ yet?

“That’s coming. In my life I don’t do anything by halves, I go the whole goddamn way. They’re gonna take my weiner and scrote and put it in a waste basket or something. I’m going the whole way dammit, no expense spared, and I’m going to be the first trans president. Michelle Obama came up to me the other day, you know what she said? She told me she was proud of me. You know what that’s like, to have the first male FLOTUS telling you you’re one of the girls now? Dang, the rest of the day they had to pull me down from the ceiling, I was floating so high!”