‘Fast Bag Drop’ Huge Success at New Heathrow Terminal 5

The grand opening of the new £4.6 billion Terminal 5 building at Heathrow has been announced as an unbridled success.

Heathrow’s Terminal 5 is the future of air travel in the 21st century and by the handling of luggage and passengers it sure lived up to the grandiose promises made last week by BAA executives.

Fast Bag Drop

Terminal 5 has incorporated a revolutionary technique in processing passenger luggage and speeding up the process of boarding a plane.

“It is quite easy, passengers simply drop their bags off and never see them ever again,” an operations manager for BAA told the Daily Squib.

Excellent customer service

On one of the departing planes, passengers on flight BA0469 to Benidorm
were spirited through the Fast Bag Drop in record time and their flight left on schedule.

One, Elizabeth Drusus, told the Daily Squib the captain said they would be leaving without any luggage.

They had been told this was part of the new BA system where passengers were encouraged to travel light.

“We are encouraging travellers to forget about essentials like luggage,” an airport official said.

A group of school pupils on flight BA275 to Guatamala also
said they were told by the airline that their bags were not on board
and they could choose whether or not to travel. They were bound for a
skiing trip.

“It could ruin it because we are scheduled to start skiing tomorrow,” said one schoolgirl, Natalie Bakehurst.

A British Airways official advised Ms Bakehurst to use a makeshift cardboard box to ski down the mountains instead of her skis and gave her a voucher for £5.50 and told her to “Hop it!”