Fit of Rage: Greek PM Tsipras Force Feeds Schäuble Kebab at EU Meeting

“I gotta da pita bread and da chilli sauce and da kebab, I wrap it up, and I put it in my briefcase with EU proposal. I’m angry! When I got to the meeting Wolfie, he look at me and say No! That’s when I see red mist, I calmly get up take the kebab and I say here is Greek gift to you-u-u! I stuff the whole pita in his mouth and he chokes (making choking sound) then I say you like your meal? Do you like this nice Greek food? I give it to you my friend!” a visibly shaken Tsipras recalled on Euronews TV channel, after the umpteenth eurozone meeting this week.

The Germans did not take kindly to the culinary intervention and quickly ushered the Greek PM out of the room while Wolfgang Schäuble recovered from the kebab assault.

Meanwhile, back in Greece, ministers were unrepentant about the incident.

“If we lose this free money we always get, we are going to have to work and pay tax. That is unthinkable for Greeks. We just want subsidies, free money and a good time by the beach. Tsipras was just showing the goodwill of the Greek people,” Latsos Manaka, a Finance Ministry spokesman told newspapers on Wednesday.