Obama Vows to Repaint White House

CORPUS CHRISTI - Texas - Senator Obama, the soon to be President of the United States, today vowed to repaint the White House as soon as he gets in.

Obama brought his standard themes of hope and unity to his opening events in South Texas, by participating in a line dance event with a country music band called ‘The Good Ol’ Boys’.

He called for the creation of a new Country music venue and Rodeo centre which will rival anything found in Nashville.

“We need a new Rodeo and Country music stadium right here in the Rio Grande Valley,” he said. “People don’t need to be driving 200 miles to hoedown.”

White House Blues

Barack Obama is going from strength to strength and is so confident that his campaign supporters and team are even talking about some of the minor changes they will introduce to the White House once they are instated.

Michelle Obama is going to choose the colour for the White House once they are voted in, and she reiterated the point emphatically to the Daly Squib:

“It’s time the White House got a new lick of paint, and we’re gonna make sure that this time round it’s going to be a good colour and not that pale soulless white.”

For hundreds of years the White House has a had a whitewash whiter than white colour, but soon some commentators have foreseen a much more adventurous colour being painted over the grand facade of the building.

Obama, who has even been endorsed by American white supremacist group the Ku Klux Klan is the new uniter in a land of economic and racial chaos.

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• KKK Endorses Obama

“There may be some resistance to what the Obamas want. We will try to sway them from painting the whole building black, but may come to a compromise — perhaps an off-white grey colour or black and white stripes. We may even consider allowing a white background colour with black polka dots,” a senior Pentagon advisor told us.

There is even talk of introducing good wholesome food to the White House. Levi Seacer, who is the Chef chosen by the Obamas, told the Daily Squib: “George W Bush eats greasy food like cheeseburgers, freedom fries, corndogs, Doritos and is even still learning to read and form words with Alphabet Soup which he finds great fun. But we’re going to change the food that is served in the White House to good wholesome meals and none of that Dubya trash; foods like country fried steak, chitlins, hog maws with rice and greens, corn bread and chow chow. Hmm hmmm, dang good cooking.”

How will the American people react to the change of colour to the White House walls?

In time they will come to accept the colour change and eventually the ‘White House’ will have another name.

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