No More Jews Left in Europe

LONDON - England - With news that Europe's Jewish community have all fled, the Daily Squib's investigative reporter, Ernest Gum was out in search for Jews in the capital city.

 

It would be a terrible catastrophe to see another exodus. Where are they all going? If to Israel, is it safe there, right smack in the middle of a snake’s nest?

Europe would surely be a lonely place without Jews, so I went to Golders Green, to what used to be a flourishing bakery baking bagels by the dozen and wonderful Jewish cakes.

“Fuck off!” said a group of youths holding banners demanding death to Israel.

Then I went to Hampstead, if I can’t find a Jew here, I don’t know what the hell is going on?

“I’m looking for Jews,” I asked a woman clad all in black politely.

“I cannot speak with you. You are male and if my handler sees me talking with you it will be haram,” the woman exclaimed hurrying off into the distance.

No sign of Maureen Lipman anywhere, no smell of freshly baked bagels and no funny self-deprecating Jewish humour, I lurked back to the den and watched some Curb episodes.

I suppose they’ve seen the warning signs, and vamoose. After WW2 who blames them?

If there are any Jews left, please leave a comment, even if you are in hiding.

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