Prince Andrew: “I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Girl”

Who says the royal family are boring? Well, most of them are, but not Prince Andrew.

“I did not have sexual relations with that girl,” Prince Andrew told CNN, on Friday, as news broke of some innocuous accusatory American court case.

Royal watchers are astonished at the negligent ignorance Americans hold towards the royal family.

“It’s absolutely classless to say that Prince Andrew allegedly met with this young lady when she was only seventeen years of age. Don’t they know that the age of consent in Britain is sixteen? And even if he did, it is no business of theirs to meddle with royal matters. These squalid yokel cowboys are nothing more than peasants in the eyes of the British royal family. We witnessed their vulgarity when the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge recently visited that awful toilet called New York. They have no manners and should know their place, which is 1000 fathoms below blue blood and will never be equal to it in a million years,” Sir Whittington Smythe, a friend of the royals told the BBC.