George Osborne Mulling Over Ukip Defection

After David Cameron’s Conservative party was spectacularly wrecked last night at the Rochester by-election, Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne is mulling over a Ukip defection himself.

“These days I’m fit as a fiddle and ready to go. The Tories seem to have lost their bite and are ineffectual. I’m frankly sick of Cameron’s pandering to the EU which is in my opinion holding back the UK. There is a vast world to trade with, and not just the failing entity of the EU. We need to broaden our horizons, make Britain Great once again and not just a sector of the European Communist Bloc,” Mr Osborne said, before being cut off when David Cameron walked into his room.

“Ready, steady, defect! ” This is the call from many Tories now, as for the Lib Dems, with 300 votes, they do not have a call any more, just a whimper will do there.