Brazil Team: “It Was Only a Hologram That Was Not Us”

BELO HORIZONTE - Brazil - The Brazilian football team have come up with an amazing excuse for losing 7-1 to Germany.

The Brazil team have appealed for calm across the country, after the drubbing 7-1 loss yesterday at the hands of the clinically efficient Germans.

“We were kidnapped just before we went on, then the hologram machines projected a mediocre team with no discernible stars or strikers onto the pitch. I think it was an evil plan from some dastardly Indonesian betting cartel,” the real Brazilian forward Neymar told local news stations.

The Brazilian authorities are looking into the holographic theory, meanwhile the Brazilian team are in hiding after their holocaustal ordeal on the pitch.

“I’ve seen park football better than that. Jesus, even England could have done better,” a crying Brazilian fan said from the stadium yesterday.

At least there is one consolation for the Brazilians, the vast taxpayer cost of the World Cup so that the home team could be humiliated with a 7-1 beating.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Bo Selecta! Russell Brand Gets 10 Years Possibly at Monster Mansion

    LONDON - England - Russell Brand has been sentenced by the Crown Court to 10…

    5 hours ago

    Nvidia’s Huang Put His Wang in a Huang

    SILICON VALLEY - USA - Nvidia shares have fallen sharply after the CEO Jensen Huang…

    6 hours ago

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    4 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    4 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    5 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.