Brazil Team: “It Was Only a Hologram That Was Not Us”

The Brazil team have appealed for calm across the country, after the drubbing 7-1 loss yesterday at the hands of the clinically efficient Germans.

“We were kidnapped just before we went on, then the hologram machines projected a mediocre team with no discernible stars or strikers onto the pitch. I think it was an evil plan from some dastardly Indonesian betting cartel,” the real Brazilian forward Neymar told local news stations.

The Brazilian authorities are looking into the holographic theory, meanwhile the Brazilian team are in hiding after their holocaustal ordeal on the pitch.

“I’ve seen park football better than that. Jesus, even England could have done better,” a crying Brazilian fan said from the stadium yesterday.

At least there is one consolation for the Brazilians, the vast taxpayer cost of the World Cup so that the home team could be humiliated with a 7-1 beating.