Supergirl Chinese Swimmer Can Fly As Well

LONDON - England - After wowing Olympic audiences with her swimming prowess that defied all laws of physics and human biology, Ye Shiwen, has shown audiences that she can fly as well.

Chinese gold medal swimmer Ye Shiwen has amazed Olympic audiences not only with her inhuman torpedo swimming techniques but her flying skills as well.

“After the swim – she finished first of course – she then got out of the pool and shot up through the roof of the swimming venue into the sky at great speed. We all ran out to see her flying at about cruising altitude of 35,000 feet. She must have been gone for a good seven minutes before we saw her descending through the clouds. She had a great smile on her face when she landed still in her swim suit. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen,” Tony Feathers, one of the audience for the 100m women’s freestyle event told the BBC.

Air traffic controllers at London’s City Airport also saw Ye Shiwen as she travelled at approximately 650 mph.

“We can confirm that we tracked an unidentified object travelling at great speed above the Olympic venue briefly buzzing our control tower as the object skimmed past the airport,” a shocked air traffic controller recalled.

Chinese Olympic authorities were quick to downplay the incident.

“She is human just like you and me. No she does not do special drugs,” Fing Fing Fung, told the Daily Mail.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: olympics

    Recent Posts

    Britain’s Mugabe Steps Closer to Taking Away Jury Trials

    LONDON - England - Today the Labour government and David Lammy voted to pass the…

    1 hour ago

    Everything’s Been Done! The Internet is Now Just Repetition and Spam

    LONDON - England - What has become of the internet? Once a great platform for…

    15 hours ago

    Cheltenham Day One Preview and Selections

    GLOUCESTERSHIRE - England - Check out these pro tips for Cheltenham day one.

    3 days ago

    We Keep Repeating: Britain Needs Cheap Energy, Production, Drilling in War Time NOT Net Zero

    LONDON - England - Having a Labour government in charge during a time of war…

    3 days ago

    SWARM INTENSIFIES: Labour £40,000 Invite to Illegal Migrants

    DOVER - England - Labour are to entice millions more illegal migrants into the UK…

    4 days ago

    HMS Ed Miliband the First Net Zero Battleship Sets Sail For Cyprus

    PORTSMOUTH - England - PM Keir Starmer has waved off Britain's first Net Zero battleship…

    5 days ago

    This website uses cookies.