Ryanair to Fly Passengers to Moon For Under £5

DUBLIN - Ireland - In direct competition with Virgin Galactic, Ryanair will offer flights to the moon for less than £5 when it eventually builds a space rocket in a few years time.

Michael O’Leary, the airline’s chief executive, told an Irish news network yesterday that he would offer tickets to the moon for £4.20.

However, he admitted that passengers would have to pay extra if they want to come back.

“Once we get you to the moon, we’ll ask you for £1,985,000. If you ain’t got it, then we’ll drop you off at the moon, charge you an extra luggage handling fee surcharge of £300,000, and if you can’t pay that, we’ll take your feckin’ luggage as well, without a feckin’ space suit may I add,” O’Leary said babbling inanely.

The flights on a state of the art space rocket, which is being built in a shed in Tipperary, would leave from someone’s back garden that O’Leary plans to rent out for 20 euros a week.

On hearing of the Ryanair news, Richard Branson got up from his hammock, yawned, then went back to sleep.

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