Ray Kurzweil Says That Cyborgs Will Not Be Able to Fart

Futurist and supreme Google brain god, Ray Kurzweil, has admitted in a recent Wired magazine article that cyborgs or transhumans will not be able to pass wind anymore.

“Let’s reference Moore’s law for a second, and if we plot the exponential technological curve to the highest point, divide that by the circumference of both indices whilst eating a plate of beans, the ratio to sequential posterior gas ejection may exceed the post bean digestive movement through the lower intestine, exiting the rectum with a loud gaseous ripping sound. But in less than thirty years I foresee post-humans not finding any necessity to fart. I mean when you do not have an intestinal tract, there would be no need to blow raspberries anymore. We may miss the wonderful relieving sounds of letting one go, it is so satisfying and how about those wonderful embarrassed looks in elevators, but there may be synthetic farting, virtual reality arse burps, as for replicating the awful smells, that’s something for future programmers to work out. I’m sure if the necessary neurons  are stimulated by brain chips, the brain can be tricked into smelling anything it wants, just as long as it’s your own bottom gas and not some other synthetic being’s unholy stimuli.”