3D Printed Girlfriend Doesn’t Talk Back

TOKYO - Japan - The world's first 3D printed girlfriend has been created by a tech research facility, Japanese news is reporting.

“She has all the curves in the right place and the necessary parts, and the good thing is she don’t talk back. Say I want to watch the game on TV or go to the pub. Not a bloody whiny word. Not only that she’s cheap to run and does not go through your credit cards buying expensive useless junk or demands anything of you. The best part of it all is, she does not try and change you, and appreciates you even if you’re a chillaxing couch potato with no job. You don’t need to pretend to like her friends. Give her a cookbook and she’ll memorise every dish to cook perfect meals, whilst you relax. She’s going to make a lot of men happy,” Kumiko Akira-San one of the engineers on the project revealed.

The modern day Geisha girl does however amuse her keeper with witty anecdotes and amazing blow jobs.

“I got my 3D printer on Monday, printed my 3D girlfriend on Tuesday, by Wednesday I had already kicked out my real girlfriend — she was no match for this one,” a happy customer told Japanese Tech News.

Anyone can download a template design from the My 3D Girlfriend site which includes numerous realistic designs available and be up and running in a day or so. The remote control comes as standard if you buy the kit.

Women’s groups around the globe were outraged at the premise and have vowed to 3D print the perfect man. Fortunately for them, the Daily Squib male staff were on hand to give a perfect template.