Zuckerberg Not Affected by Coronavirus Pandemic

“I’m immune to coronavirus,” Zuckerberg says tapping his hard forehead which sounds like a piece of plastic tubing.

As Facebook goes from strength to strength during the virus pandemic with its stock price shooting upwards, its CEO, Zuckerberg is now fully integrated into the company, much to the chagrin of rebel shareholders who have tried to oust him countless times.

Zuckerberg does not sleep. He is plugged into the network 24/7 and some people question if he is human any more.

“He never laughs, and he never sleeps. No one has ever seen the guy eat food. He’s literally like a robot, he can compute complex algorithms in seconds, and has an interface built into the back of his neck,” one Facebook insider claims.

When staffers see Zuckerberg walking the halls, they immediately step aside and try to make themselves look useful.

“You know that scene in the first Terminator movie when Schwarzenegger takes the cop car and is going ‘Westbound on Olympic”, scanning the area in a menacing manner, that’s Zuckerberg. You better make yourself look like you’re doing something, or he will zone in on you. His eyes, they got no soul in there, like fuckin’ shark eyes,” another employee revealed.