Sci/Tech

Prince Andrew Was Blasted Into Space Two Days Ago

BAIKONUR - Kazakhstan - Buckingham Palace has revealed that Prince Andrew was shot into space two days ago in a rocket, on a one way trip.

In a first for any #metoo victim, Prince Andrew, the former royal, was blasted into space two days ago, the palace revealed today in a press report.

“Prince Andrew, was put inside a rocket, and blasted out into space, two days ago. According to the flight team, he should be going past the moon about now, and will continue on forever. This is a one way trip,” royal spokesman, Giles Mandeforth, told the BBC.

According to the palace, the Prince was flown secretly to the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan, which is part of the Roscosmos State Corporation, on Monday.

“The prince was very jovial about the whole event and understood that he had done something wrong, and he had to therefore pay some sort of price. Prince Andrew was allowed to take some hampers on board carrying the luxury gourmet food he is accustomed to. He was also allowed to take a little plastic xmas tree with some blinking lights on it, so he can celebrate Christmas in the cold hard darkness of space,” Mandeforth added.

If calculations are correct, by August, the prince, if still alive, should be nearing Jupiter, on course to Alpha Centauri.

Another great win for #metoo, there were celebrations from hard-left feminists across the globe as another man had been banished from human existence.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    SAVE THE PLANET: Scientists Finally Realise Cause of Many Global Problems

    LONDON - England - Scientists in a new study have finally come to the conclusion…

    3 hours ago

    Obesity Medication: Fast Results – But at the Expense of Long-term Health

    MALMO - Sweden - The deluge of GLP-1 obesity medication flooding the markets may have…

    1 day ago

    Comrade Burn’em Wants Your Home – Land Tax – Property Poll Tax to Replace Council Tax

    HARTLEPOOL - England - Comrade Burn'em and the Labour Party want to redistribute your wealth…

    4 days ago

    The Daily Squib: In Conversation With Taran, the Man Behind the Trump Chicken

    WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - The Daily Squib interviews Taran Singh Brar, the man behind…

    4 days ago

    Commissar Rachel Reeves Relegated Back to Junior Bank Clerk After Ruining British Economy

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Commissar Rachel Reeves has been relegated back to a junior bank…

    5 days ago

    Labour Open Borders: Small-Boat Illegals Selling Drugs Openly

    MANCHESTER - England - Thanks to Labour's open borders policy, small-boat illegals are selling drugs…

    5 days ago

    This website uses cookies.