Now That God Particle Discovered Scientists Want to Find The G-Spot

GENEVA - Switzerland - Scientists are hailing the discovery of the Higgs Boson 'God Particle' but this is not enough for some, now they want to discover once and for all, a woman's elusive G-spot.

Higgs Boson was one discovery, but a G spot is the real icing on the cake of scientific discovery, and thousands of overpaid scientists at CERN are determined to research and gather enough data to actually pinpoint the whereabouts of the slippery little spot that has evaded so many men since time immemorial.

“We’re getting women in here in all shapes and sizes and getting to work. The Higgs Boson is actually insignificant now, women need to know all over the world that we’re getting undercover, damp and dirty to find that spot that makes you all go berserk with unadulterated passion. To science, this is more important than some tiny poxy particle that degrades milliseconds after it appears. Screw the fabric of the universe, I want to jump deep into the cavern, I want to swim like a fish and find that G-Spot if it’s the last goddamn thing I do in this world,” Professor Al Jenkem, told New Scientist magazine on Wednesday.

The CERN institute has already scrapped the large Hadron Collider and are now constructing a specially commissioned piece of equipment that will explore the complexities of a woman’s clown pocket.

“Fuck the Hadron Collider, that thing can’t even make my toast in the morning. I want to see a woman’s G-Spot. Bring on more funding!” another scientific expert yelped as he rushed around the lab in his little white coat sweating like a toothless inmate in a prison.

With luck, the scientists at CERN should discover the actual whereabouts of the G-spot in the next thirty or forty years of constant research and trillions more of lucrative research funds paid for by the lowly taxpayer.

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