Dutch Scientists Create Artificial Meat But Fast Food Joints Say They Created it First

Dutch scientists who claim they have grown the world’s first sample of artificial meat in a test tube have become a laughing stock amongst the fast food industry.

“We’ve been presenting artificial meat to the public for donkeys years, eh, donkeys ears and bollocks too. You know that rubbery stuff you schlep up and it just disintegrates in your mouth, it’s as artificial as you can get it. Try and leave one of our burgers on a window sill for two years? It will be good as f*cking new, just stick it in a microwave for a few seconds and chow down. If that ain’t artificial I don’t know what is?” marketing manager for McGristle burgers, told CBS.

There is of course one certainty and that is both the scientist created lab meat and fast food burger meat all taste and look like utter shit. Bon Appétit.