Sci/Tech

EU Releases Ransomware Virus Onto Brexit Britain

LONDON -England - The virus that has infected and effectively shut down 95% of government computers in the UK was penned and designed by a rogue group of hackers called the European Union Commission.

 

The virus demands Britain pays the hacking group £85 billion in Bitcoins or all data on the computers will be deleted.

GCHQ has identified one of the hackers as a guy called Juncky, his real name is Jean Claude Juncker, who is well known to the authorities as a very dangerous malevolent joker character.

Ransomware

“We have tracked this hacking group to a building in Brussels, Belgium. Juncky and his crew are a highly dangerous team of experts in the field of blackmail, extortion and many other criminal activities,” Miles Eaveridge, senior cyber crimes analyst at MI6 revealed today.

If your computer has been affected by this malicious virus, do not pay the ransom, just delete everything and start again with your backed up data with a clean slate.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    3 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    4 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    5 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    6 days ago

    London 2026 – The City of Shit

    LONDON - England - The capital city of Britain was once a great city but…

    1 week ago

    BUDGET SECRETS – Why Labour Needs the Neets

    MANCHESTER - England - It was a great Labour budget yesterday for the NEETS and…

    2 weeks ago

    This website uses cookies.