Scientists Baffled After Analysing Mexican Flu Virus

LONDON - England - British scientists at the Health Protection Agency's high containment laboratories in Tottenham, north London, have discovered a serious anomaly within the Mexican swine virus' genetic structure.

The virus was transferred to a high security room at the lab and
disassembled using a technique called “reverse genetics”. Scientists then took the genes that make the swine virus’s outer coating and
attached them to a harmless human virus called PR8.

It was during this process that the scientists were dumb struck at their discovery.

“During the analytical process we discovered that the virus carried a component that has got everyone excited. Our colleagues in the CDC from Atlanta, Georgia have also found the same component and are also baffled. It seems to be some kind of genetic footprint denoting the virus’s place of origin,” Dr. Mark Sykes from the HPA’s containment labs told the Daily Squib.

The World Health Organisation last night raised the alert to level five
– only one below the highest level – for the first time in its history.

“We also found that the virus likes to have a three hour siesta every day from about 2pm. It also has an affinity for Tequila if it’s host drinks some it gets happy and starts to sing Mariachi songs. We’ve seen some crazy shit in our labs. Sometimes we have to pinch ourselves to show we’re not dreaming,” Dr. Sykes added.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    50+ Investable Opportunities Found in a New Analysis Providing Economic Gains

    GENEVA - Switzerland - The World Economic Forum has identified over 50 investable opportunities offering…

    22 hours ago

    Strait of Hormuz: Shame on Many Coward NATO Members

    LONDON - England - Multiple members of NATO have displayed their profound cowardice and shame…

    2 days ago

    Shia Islamic Iran Willing to Take Down Globe For the Twelfth Imam

    TEHRAN - Iran - The Shia Islamic Iranian Republic is awaiting the Twelfth Imam to…

    4 days ago

    Iranian Regime Now Releasing AI-Generated Disinformation of Captured US Soldiers

    LONDON - England - The U.S. Intelligence community needs to stamp down on the mass…

    7 days ago

    The Have-Nots Don’t Have Anything to Lose – But You Do!

    LOS ANGELES - USA - There are millions and millions of have-nots who don't have…

    7 days ago

    TRUMP: Kill One Ayatollah – Get Another One Free

    TEHRAN - Iran - President Trump sure got the deal of the century when he…

    7 days ago

    This website uses cookies.