Hurricane Command Centre Runs Out of Names for Hurricanes

St Louis - USA - The main weather command centre in the United States was in turmoil today after running out of Christian names to call hurricanes.

The World
Meteorological Organization which determines the names of hurricanes is now switching to Muslim names because they have run out of Christian names for hurricanes.

“We have had approval from the highest office i.e the president himself to switch hurricane names to Muslim names. There are many reasons for this, first we’ve run out of Christian names because of the amount of hurricanes that batter the US from the Pacific and Atlantic. Secondly, there is a war against Islam being conducted by our great country and the White House wants more Muslim related threats against the US,” National coordinator for Weather Research, John Tindsdale told CBS news.

Dick Cheney has ordered the Homeland Hurricane Security Agency to be mobilised immediately because of the imminent Islamic hurricane threat.

Jihad from the skies

The major grade 3 hurricane that is currently threatening the South East coast of the United States is called hurricane Ike.

After Ike passes through and dissipates, there are currently six other tropical storms waiting to come ashore and be upgraded to hurricane status. The new hurricanes will now be called, Mahmoud, Allah, Abdullah, Osama, Obama and finally hurricane Mohammed.

Fox news broadcaster Bill O’Reilly was foaming at the mouth at the very thought of more patriotic fervour being displayed across the country. Speaking on his O’Reilly Factor Fox show he said: “This is proof that the Arabs should all be eradicated from the earth. They are now attacking us with hurricanes and shitty weather, this makes suitcase nuke threats look like child’s play.”

Already, in Kentucky and Mississippi there have been demonstrations against the Muslim hurricanes and patriots have been lining the streets to shoot at the incoming gusts of vile Islamic wind despite evacuation orders  .

“We’re being invaded by that goddamn Islamic terrorist hurricane again and we ain’t going to lie down and take this. I’m fighting for Jesus and America here. George W Bush is my hero and I’ll fight to the death for that man,” Joe Arnold, 23, from Holt in Michigan told CBS news late yesterday.

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